Healing in a Faith Community (Childhood Sexual Assault)
Trigger warning: the content of this article could be disturbing. Take care of yourself.
"If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea." ~ Jesus, Mark 9:42
This past week, I attended an event called “When Faith Hurts” sponsored by the Julie Valentine Center. The theme and purpose of this conference is helping faith communities properly respond to abuse––particularly child sexual assault, but also domestic violence.
At least twenty percent of church congregants are survivors of childhood sexual assault, and 68% are affected by it, including parents, siblings, other family members, and friends. Most cases of child sexual abuse occur within the home, and most perpetrators are known to the child: a parent or step-parent, grandparent, sibling, uncle, or babysitter. Children rarely have the means to protect themselves, are silenced by threats, bribery, or shame, and are often disbelieved if they try to get help.
If sexual abuse is present in a child’s life, other abuse and neglect is also present. To the child, this may be the norm because he/she does not know any other way of life, but the wounds are deep. Children may use survival strategies such as dissociation, trying to please the abuser, or trying to get it over with. But the greatest damage happens within the child’s soul as lies embed themselves regarding his/her identity and worth.
Adverse childhood events (including sexual abuse) directly affect a person’s ability to function in life (find your own score HERE). When you observe someone who is seriously struggling in some area of life, atrocity may have overwhelmed his/her formative years, distorting truth and resulting in ongoing suffering.
Survivors of childhood sexual assault may suffer from depression, anxiety, and/or PTSD. They might also engage in numbing behavior such as self-harm, inappropriate sexual behavior, addiction, binge-watching, over-engagement with social media, emotional eating, or making himself/herself busy for the sake of distraction. A survivor will have difficulty maintaining healthy connections with others and God.
How Can Followers of Jesus Support Survivors?
Listen without judgment
Listen without attempting to fix them
Listen without making it about you
Refraining from sharing privileged information with others
Encouraging them to find therapy or counseling
Reflect God’s goodness and grace
How Can Followers of Jesus Stifle Abuse?
Be alert for anyone’s behavior that seems “off”
Don’t assume everyone in the church is “safe”
Be aware of predatory grooming behavior
Become trauma-informed; take a child protection course
If you suspect abuse, talk to a mandated reporter (pastor, teacher, children’s worker)
Teach children their privacy rights (see link below) and how to call for help
Age-appropriate conversations to help protect children
©2023 Julianne Knapp. First published 10.17.23
"If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea." ~ Jesus, Mark 9:42
This past week, I attended an event called “When Faith Hurts” sponsored by the Julie Valentine Center. The theme and purpose of this conference is helping faith communities properly respond to abuse––particularly child sexual assault, but also domestic violence.
At least twenty percent of church congregants are survivors of childhood sexual assault, and 68% are affected by it, including parents, siblings, other family members, and friends. Most cases of child sexual abuse occur within the home, and most perpetrators are known to the child: a parent or step-parent, grandparent, sibling, uncle, or babysitter. Children rarely have the means to protect themselves, are silenced by threats, bribery, or shame, and are often disbelieved if they try to get help.
If sexual abuse is present in a child’s life, other abuse and neglect is also present. To the child, this may be the norm because he/she does not know any other way of life, but the wounds are deep. Children may use survival strategies such as dissociation, trying to please the abuser, or trying to get it over with. But the greatest damage happens within the child’s soul as lies embed themselves regarding his/her identity and worth.
Adverse childhood events (including sexual abuse) directly affect a person’s ability to function in life (find your own score HERE). When you observe someone who is seriously struggling in some area of life, atrocity may have overwhelmed his/her formative years, distorting truth and resulting in ongoing suffering.
Survivors of childhood sexual assault may suffer from depression, anxiety, and/or PTSD. They might also engage in numbing behavior such as self-harm, inappropriate sexual behavior, addiction, binge-watching, over-engagement with social media, emotional eating, or making himself/herself busy for the sake of distraction. A survivor will have difficulty maintaining healthy connections with others and God.
How Can Followers of Jesus Support Survivors?
Listen without judgment
Listen without attempting to fix them
Listen without making it about you
Refraining from sharing privileged information with others
Encouraging them to find therapy or counseling
Reflect God’s goodness and grace
How Can Followers of Jesus Stifle Abuse?
Be alert for anyone’s behavior that seems “off”
Don’t assume everyone in the church is “safe”
Be aware of predatory grooming behavior
Become trauma-informed; take a child protection course
If you suspect abuse, talk to a mandated reporter (pastor, teacher, children’s worker)
Teach children their privacy rights (see link below) and how to call for help
Age-appropriate conversations to help protect children
©2023 Julianne Knapp. First published 10.17.23