The Thing About Control
"I will be like the most High." ~ Satan, as quoted in Isaiah 14:14
Way back before the Garden of Eden, Satan's power grab got him tossed out of Heaven. He and a lot of the angels (one-third of the existing population, in fact [Revelation 12:4]) landed in a new, yet-untested territory. When Adam and Eve were created, all of a sudden Satan had prospective subjects in his "kingdom", and he tempted them with the same juicy bit that had sealed his fate: control.
There were a lot of things going on when the serpent showed up to make his offer: appeal to pride; shame triggers; lust of the flesh; doubting God; etc. But Adam and Eve had a choice to make: trust God or take matters into their own hands.
They Chose Control
Like our first parents, anyone who desires to control is following in the footsteps of the enemy: "I will be like the most High." This includes all of us! We want:
Coercive Control or Underhanded Control?
Overt, coercive control is the primary tool of a bully. Whether on the playground or in a close relationship, the aggressor is bent on forcing another to do his/her will. While it can include physical force like hitting or blocking an exit, it can also include a threat of harm to subjugate the other person--like slamming a cabinet door, displaying a weapon, yelling a command or "getting in your face". Bullies often have a team of "flying monkeys": those who are cooperating with the plan of destruction by reinforcing the bully's status. Flying monkeys (remember the Wizard of Oz?) support the narrative of abuse just as the playground bully's henchmen.
Covert control has the same purpose, but uses different tactics. Manipulation, gaslighting, and lying are examples of more subtle, deceptive forms of control. Covert influence was Satan's tool of choice for Eve and Adam (Genesis 3:1). It is often the first strategy employed for control because it's the easiest; the person seeking control will use the minimal amount of force to accomplish the desired outcome.
Self-Control: Evidence of the Holy Spirit's Work In Us
Never does God ask us to exert control over another. True, we may be responsible for people under our protection, but forcing our will is the enemy's scheme, not God's way. It is not even God's will for us to "be in control" of our own lives: again, we are called to exercise stewardship, not to determine outcomes.
Instead, we are encouraged to develop temperance, or "self control" by the help of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24). In fact, this is such a huge task, that we are powerless to help ourselves--this is a work that can only be done by God, and is itself evidence that God has done the work (because it's so unlike humans to self-regulate!).
Who's In Control?
All authority, power, knowledge, and control comes from God. He is sovereign over all (Col. 1:16-17). We do well to trust Him in all areas of life (even the seemingly mundane) and depend on Him to always do the right thing for the right reason (Matt. 10:29-31, Rom. 8:28). As creator of the universe (Gen. 1:1), He is not about to let anything slip through the cracks! All outcomes are governed by Him; all we have to do is cooperate with His purposes. It is truly freeing to give up perceived "control", and not feel "controlled" by others (Boundaries resource HERE).
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©2022 Julianne Knapp. First published 11.8.22
Way back before the Garden of Eden, Satan's power grab got him tossed out of Heaven. He and a lot of the angels (one-third of the existing population, in fact [Revelation 12:4]) landed in a new, yet-untested territory. When Adam and Eve were created, all of a sudden Satan had prospective subjects in his "kingdom", and he tempted them with the same juicy bit that had sealed his fate: control.
There were a lot of things going on when the serpent showed up to make his offer: appeal to pride; shame triggers; lust of the flesh; doubting God; etc. But Adam and Eve had a choice to make: trust God or take matters into their own hands.
They Chose Control
Like our first parents, anyone who desires to control is following in the footsteps of the enemy: "I will be like the most High." This includes all of us! We want:
- things to go our way
- to rule ourselves
- to figure stuff out on our own
- to determine outcomes
- others to do as we say
- others to meet our desires
- to find fulfillment in what others can do for us
- to feel powerful
Coercive Control or Underhanded Control?
Overt, coercive control is the primary tool of a bully. Whether on the playground or in a close relationship, the aggressor is bent on forcing another to do his/her will. While it can include physical force like hitting or blocking an exit, it can also include a threat of harm to subjugate the other person--like slamming a cabinet door, displaying a weapon, yelling a command or "getting in your face". Bullies often have a team of "flying monkeys": those who are cooperating with the plan of destruction by reinforcing the bully's status. Flying monkeys (remember the Wizard of Oz?) support the narrative of abuse just as the playground bully's henchmen.
Covert control has the same purpose, but uses different tactics. Manipulation, gaslighting, and lying are examples of more subtle, deceptive forms of control. Covert influence was Satan's tool of choice for Eve and Adam (Genesis 3:1). It is often the first strategy employed for control because it's the easiest; the person seeking control will use the minimal amount of force to accomplish the desired outcome.
Self-Control: Evidence of the Holy Spirit's Work In Us
Never does God ask us to exert control over another. True, we may be responsible for people under our protection, but forcing our will is the enemy's scheme, not God's way. It is not even God's will for us to "be in control" of our own lives: again, we are called to exercise stewardship, not to determine outcomes.
Instead, we are encouraged to develop temperance, or "self control" by the help of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24). In fact, this is such a huge task, that we are powerless to help ourselves--this is a work that can only be done by God, and is itself evidence that God has done the work (because it's so unlike humans to self-regulate!).
Who's In Control?
All authority, power, knowledge, and control comes from God. He is sovereign over all (Col. 1:16-17). We do well to trust Him in all areas of life (even the seemingly mundane) and depend on Him to always do the right thing for the right reason (Matt. 10:29-31, Rom. 8:28). As creator of the universe (Gen. 1:1), He is not about to let anything slip through the cracks! All outcomes are governed by Him; all we have to do is cooperate with His purposes. It is truly freeing to give up perceived "control", and not feel "controlled" by others (Boundaries resource HERE).
Subscribe to free weekly articles in your inbox HERE; your information will never be shared. :-)
©2022 Julianne Knapp. First published 11.8.22