What's Behind Your Anger?
Anger is a normal human emotion. We feel anger when things don't go as expected, when we or someone we love experiences injustice, or when we lose "control" of a situation.
Interestingly, all emotions typically dissipate within 20 minutes except anger. Unchecked anger persists for three hours. What a powerful emotion!
The Bible has a lot to say about anger, such as:
Beyond these enlightening commands and proverbs, however, is the principle that we often react in anger when we are "triggered" by an experience in which we feel an emotion from our past. Behind your anger may be feelings of:
When Did You Feel This Way Before?
The first question to ask yourself when you experience anger is when, in your past, did you first have this particular feeling? Here are some examples to get your wheels turning:
If anger is surfacing in your life now because of something that happened in your past, it's robbing your joy. Jesus came that we may have abundant life; ongoing anger, bitterness, and resentment work counter to that purpose. If this is you, become curious as to the "why" of your anger.
To keep our past from ruining our present and future, we must do the hard work of grappling with damaging experiences. You can't do this alone – enlist a compassionate witness to your voice: a friend, a counselor, a pastor, or someone you feel safe sharing with.
Steps to Freedom
Ongoing anger limits our freedom. You could say that we are in bondage to anger when we can't control it; instead, it controls us. We can start by giving language to our experience. Check out the Feelings Wheel to pinpoint an accurate description of what you're feeling. Ask yourself, "When did I first feel this way? Was it with a family member, friend, or acquaintance?"
If your first experience of this feeling was traumatic, pray and ask Jesus to show you where He was at that point in time. You can be confident that He was with you, feeling your pain, but you need His revelation of this truth to gain the healing He wants for you.
Identify the beliefs that have led you to anger. Keep in mind that depression is often anger turned inward. Common misbeliefs are:
More Peace, Less Anger
As you grow in self-awareness and practice resisting the enemy's lies, you will gain back lost ground in your life. You'll find more maturity in self-control, and will model Christ-like behavior toward others. As you move toward healthy change, identify what old things need to be released so that you can grab onto the new things God wants to give you. In case you missed it, take a look at this article on positive change.
If anger is a sign that you're struggling with forgiveness (that is, you're punishing yourself for someone else's behavior), consider giving it over to God. Forgiveness is a process that frees you from vengeance toward yourself or others, while giving space for God to perform righteous judgment. We'll be spending more time on forgiveness in a future article, but know that God's grace is sufficient to meet all your needs as you grow in to Christ like-ness!
Get free weekly articles in your inbox by clicking HERE. Your information will never be shared.
©2023 Julianne Knapp. First published 2.21.23
Interestingly, all emotions typically dissipate within 20 minutes except anger. Unchecked anger persists for three hours. What a powerful emotion!
The Bible has a lot to say about anger, such as:
- do not sin in your anger (Ps. 4:4)
- resolve your anger before the day is over (Eph. 4:26)
- being slow to anger works in your favor (Prov. 14:29, James 1:19, Ecc. 7:9, Prov. 29:11, Prov. 19:11, among others)
- God Himself is slow to anger (Ps. 103:8)
- anger leads to evil (Ps. 37:8)
- a quick temper yields foolishness (Prov. 14:17)
Beyond these enlightening commands and proverbs, however, is the principle that we often react in anger when we are "triggered" by an experience in which we feel an emotion from our past. Behind your anger may be feelings of:
- fear
- helplessness or powerlessness
- rejection
- overwhelm
- violation
- depression
- self-judgment
When Did You Feel This Way Before?
The first question to ask yourself when you experience anger is when, in your past, did you first have this particular feeling? Here are some examples to get your wheels turning:
- Someone took advantage of you, and you felt powerless
- Someone mocked or criticized you, and you felt shamed
- You or something/someone you loved experiened harm, and you felt shock, grief, or injustice
- Someone you respected turned on you, and you felt betrayed
- Someone robbed you, and you felt violated
If anger is surfacing in your life now because of something that happened in your past, it's robbing your joy. Jesus came that we may have abundant life; ongoing anger, bitterness, and resentment work counter to that purpose. If this is you, become curious as to the "why" of your anger.
To keep our past from ruining our present and future, we must do the hard work of grappling with damaging experiences. You can't do this alone – enlist a compassionate witness to your voice: a friend, a counselor, a pastor, or someone you feel safe sharing with.
Steps to Freedom
Ongoing anger limits our freedom. You could say that we are in bondage to anger when we can't control it; instead, it controls us. We can start by giving language to our experience. Check out the Feelings Wheel to pinpoint an accurate description of what you're feeling. Ask yourself, "When did I first feel this way? Was it with a family member, friend, or acquaintance?"
If your first experience of this feeling was traumatic, pray and ask Jesus to show you where He was at that point in time. You can be confident that He was with you, feeling your pain, but you need His revelation of this truth to gain the healing He wants for you.
Identify the beliefs that have led you to anger. Keep in mind that depression is often anger turned inward. Common misbeliefs are:
- God isn't/wasn't in control
- It was all my fault (maybe it was someone else's fault!)
- God doesn't love me
- All people are bad and untrustworthy
- No one cares
- I don't matter
- The wicked always win
More Peace, Less Anger
As you grow in self-awareness and practice resisting the enemy's lies, you will gain back lost ground in your life. You'll find more maturity in self-control, and will model Christ-like behavior toward others. As you move toward healthy change, identify what old things need to be released so that you can grab onto the new things God wants to give you. In case you missed it, take a look at this article on positive change.
If anger is a sign that you're struggling with forgiveness (that is, you're punishing yourself for someone else's behavior), consider giving it over to God. Forgiveness is a process that frees you from vengeance toward yourself or others, while giving space for God to perform righteous judgment. We'll be spending more time on forgiveness in a future article, but know that God's grace is sufficient to meet all your needs as you grow in to Christ like-ness!
Get free weekly articles in your inbox by clicking HERE. Your information will never be shared.
©2023 Julianne Knapp. First published 2.21.23