Who's In Charge Here?
When I walk into a room, I want to know who’s in charge. Maybe I’m just wired or conditioned to want to know where I fit in the authority food chain, or maybe I long for a sense of order. Maybe I want to know who’s responsible for what, and what role I’ll play in that environment. My perspectives are filtered through the lens of authority and structure and all the possibilities thereof: control, submission, coercion, protection, initiative, responsibility, prejudice, power, lack of power, abuse of power, manipulation, and a host of other nuances. Titles, body language, clothing styles, what is said by whom and how, all provide information to help me read the room and navigate the situation.
As a daughter of God, how do I make sense of it all? What is true? How do I know when to lead or when to follow? Most importantly, what is the motivation behind my thoughts and behavior?
BIBLICAL AUTHORITY STRUCTURES
It’s pretty easy to find and read what the Bible says regarding God’s rules of order. Husbands: love. Wives: submit. Children, servants, employees: obey. Church elders: rule. Church congregants: submit. Citizens: obey governing authorities.
What’s not so easy is to righteously play out each of the roles we’re all in. In the list above, I find myself in more than one category of leadership and submission. All ultimately must answer to God; none is without authority. God’s instruction to both those who lead and those who submit is equally stringent, and none of us in any category can fulfil God’s laws to us righteously without his help. However, we all have a great example in Jesus for how to treat others around us, no matter what role we’re in at the time.
IN THE BEGINNING
God created his world in perfect order, and that order worked perfectly in the context of relationships. Nobody barged into the Garden of Eden demanding to know who was in charge. It simply didn’t matter, because both human residents answered to God, and they worked together in harmony.
It wasn’t until both humans sinned that the structure broke down--or maybe the structure broke down and they sinned. Adam didn’t protect Eve from deception by the serpent. Eve disbelieved God and for whatever reason, she and Adam didn’t discuss their crucial decision beforehand.
After their sin, God predicted how sin would affect the outcome of their lives. The one I want to mention here is Eve’s: “Your desire shall be to your husband, and he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) God gives us a picture of how sin would influence Adam’s and Eve’s relationship to each other in the context of their fallen natures: Eve would be grasping to get her husband’s attention and affection; Adam would rule (or “power over”) Eve.
All people, believers and unbelievers alike, bear the same propensity to sin. Sin is predictable, patternistic, and progressive. All those in power or authority face the temptation to rule over others in a controlling, coercive way. All those under authority face the temptation to do whatever it takes to get attention and love (idolatry) instead of resting in the satisfaction of God’s complete love and affection for them. If they disbelieve, rebellion shortly follows.
God is never surprised by human actions. In fact, God anticipated the sin of rulers by instructing them to exercise justice, mercy, consideration, and respect for those they serve and protect, because they stand in the place of God to do what God graciously does: act in the best interest of others (see Ephesians 5:18-19). God anticipated the distrust and disbelief of those who would be under the rule of others by exhorting them to submit (in the case of wives and church congregants) or obey (as in the case of dependent minor children or servants/employees). By reflecting the character of Christ, both rulers and those under rule have the opportunity to bring the light of the glory of God to a world of darkness, where corrupt rulers abuse power and those under them suffer greatly.
IT’S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING . . .
When you or I want to know who’s in charge, is it because we want to know who’s in control (“control” being the operative word)? In a sinful world, we’ve forsaken godly leadership for efficient “management” to suit selfish purposes.
Control is not the goal in God’s authority structure. In Ephesians and other passages, leaders serve, not manage those in their care. Leaders are answerable to God for the way they influence others: their role is one of protection and care (think shepherd), not self-serving pride (see Ezekiel 34). They don’t get to tell other people what to do (except in the case of children or employees), and even then, they are called to set an example through service.
Likewise, in order for the wheels of structure to move smoothly, those under authority (think: “need protection and care”) can more easily submit or obey where there is a relationship of trust. Rebellion is borne out of a distaste for hypocrisy, abuse, and earned distrust. No one likes to be controlled; no one likes to be told what to do. Great leaders learn to respect those in their care--to listen, to acknowledge their thoughts and feelings, to ask forgiveness when they’ve done wrong, to act in their best interest. For each “command” the leader gives, the motivation must be love and protection, not control.
God, the perfect leader, experienced his people’s outright distrust and rebellion in the wilderness following his rescue, love, and protection of them in their exodus from Egypt. The Israelites missed an opportunity to enter the land of promise because of their disobedience. God wasn’t surprised; their sin of disobedience was on them. He, their Creator, had endowed them with human choice, and they chose unwisely. He didn’t MAKE them obey, but later they wished they had.
Plenty of stumbling blocks await those under authority, too. They have choices that can work in their favor or against it. The person under authority can undermine his/her own role by idolizing the “person at the top” or by struggling against whoever’s in charge through inward or outward rebellion. Because leaders are sinful people, too, relational tension is exacerbated when leaders abuse their position. Likewise, those under leadership can damage relationships by responding poorly to instruction.
DUAL ROLES
The centurion who approached Jesus in Luke 7 had this figured out. He explained that he was both under the authority of others, and exercised authority over other people. He knew his place--because he filled 2 roles: both leader and follower--so he saw truth from two different perspectives. He then acknowledged Jesus’ authority to heal his servant long-distance (see how Jesus used his authority to protect and serve the best interests of others?), and Jesus himself was always in cooperation with the will of his Father.
God, who does all things well, places us in various roles at various times for the good of his kingdom. Before we can exercise the role of either leader or follower well, we need to have a firm grip on what it means to “submit to one another in the fear of the Lord.” It helps a lot to be humble and teachable on this matter. Chances are, the people under you are as smart or smarter than you. Chances are, people will submit better than you will lead. It’s a huge responsibility to lead, because people are interpreting what God is like through the lens of YOU. “My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.” (James 3:1) As a person who submits (and we all answer to somebody!), we must be careful to use our own intelligence, energy, discernment, and voice for the benefit of our leader instead of placing that person in idol status, or passively following, or complaining/grumbling/gossiping.
A NOTE REGARDING CHILDREN
For all practical, relevant purposes, we can safely assume that when God calls children to obey, he is talking about dependent minors. It goes without saying that “normal” parents, though imperfect, desire to protect their children from harm, and bring them up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord”. Being humans, children still have free will to obey or disobey. While they are minors who are dependent upon their parents’ provision, it is reasonable to expect obedience, and have boundaries for disobedience.
All children, no matter what age, are called to honor their parents. Honoring means different things in different cultures, but dishonor is sin. The parent doesn’t get to decide whether he or she has been honored, though he or she may feel honored or dishonored. The adult child doesn’t get to decide (except by way of personal boundaries for physical, mental, or emotional safety) if he or she has “honored enough”. God gave us the Holy Spirit to convict us and interpret to us individually what our behavior should be in every case. As in every behavior, motivation is key. Is the motive love and respect? Is it lip service? Is it wanting the best for the other party? Rather than question whether we honor enough, perhaps instead we should ask ourselves and God why we do what we do.
STILL STRUGGLING?
The word “authority” can be a trigger for many, likely because it is so often misused and abused. Some “authority figures” in our lives are passive; some are abusive; some are corrupt; some are unrespectable; some are oppressive or narcissistic or angry or dictators. Some are our fathers, church leaders, government leaders, law enforcers, teachers, employers. If you’ve lived more than 30 seconds, you know the pain of a bad leader.
The words “submit” and “obey” can be triggers for many, because these words have been used to control, coerce, manipulate, abuse, deceive, dominate, oppress, and violate. We have at times “submitted” and “obeyed” to our own destruction; we’ve seen others violated as well. Worst of all, those who are in a place of “spiritual” leadership have shamed and guilted us into obeying “man” (themselves) instead of God. Trust has been broken in a big way. We were harmed by those who were supposed to protect and love us, and now we’re left with the trauma of betrayal.
God gives us the perfect outline for authority structures, but there are no perfect people to carry it out--on either end! Leaders want their followers to submit and obey; followers want respect and dignity. “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? You lust, and have not: you kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: you fight and war, yet ye have not, because you ask not.“ (James 4:1-2) In our flesh, we each battle with our own lusts, and are willing to kill for what we want.
Leaders have great responsibility, but except in the cases of parenthood and law enforcers, they do not have the power to make their followers submit (unless they use coercive control, which is sin.) And leaders cannot be leaders unless someone is following. So what’s the point? Why is leadership and submission even important?
Both roles of leadership and submission point us all to Christ, who shows us how to fulfill them well. If we use our leadership for anything other than loving, protecting, and serving, we’re not being Christ-like. If we can’t support authority in a godly way (except in cases of abuse), we’re not being Christ-like. Jesus gave himself as an example of a person under authority and with authority.
Who’s in charge? God. Period. Otherwise, it’s the wrong question.
Subscribe to free weekly articles in your inbox HERE; your information will never be shared. :-)
©2021 Julie Knapp; 8.14.21 www.MadeForGrace.net
As a daughter of God, how do I make sense of it all? What is true? How do I know when to lead or when to follow? Most importantly, what is the motivation behind my thoughts and behavior?
BIBLICAL AUTHORITY STRUCTURES
It’s pretty easy to find and read what the Bible says regarding God’s rules of order. Husbands: love. Wives: submit. Children, servants, employees: obey. Church elders: rule. Church congregants: submit. Citizens: obey governing authorities.
What’s not so easy is to righteously play out each of the roles we’re all in. In the list above, I find myself in more than one category of leadership and submission. All ultimately must answer to God; none is without authority. God’s instruction to both those who lead and those who submit is equally stringent, and none of us in any category can fulfil God’s laws to us righteously without his help. However, we all have a great example in Jesus for how to treat others around us, no matter what role we’re in at the time.
IN THE BEGINNING
God created his world in perfect order, and that order worked perfectly in the context of relationships. Nobody barged into the Garden of Eden demanding to know who was in charge. It simply didn’t matter, because both human residents answered to God, and they worked together in harmony.
It wasn’t until both humans sinned that the structure broke down--or maybe the structure broke down and they sinned. Adam didn’t protect Eve from deception by the serpent. Eve disbelieved God and for whatever reason, she and Adam didn’t discuss their crucial decision beforehand.
After their sin, God predicted how sin would affect the outcome of their lives. The one I want to mention here is Eve’s: “Your desire shall be to your husband, and he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) God gives us a picture of how sin would influence Adam’s and Eve’s relationship to each other in the context of their fallen natures: Eve would be grasping to get her husband’s attention and affection; Adam would rule (or “power over”) Eve.
All people, believers and unbelievers alike, bear the same propensity to sin. Sin is predictable, patternistic, and progressive. All those in power or authority face the temptation to rule over others in a controlling, coercive way. All those under authority face the temptation to do whatever it takes to get attention and love (idolatry) instead of resting in the satisfaction of God’s complete love and affection for them. If they disbelieve, rebellion shortly follows.
God is never surprised by human actions. In fact, God anticipated the sin of rulers by instructing them to exercise justice, mercy, consideration, and respect for those they serve and protect, because they stand in the place of God to do what God graciously does: act in the best interest of others (see Ephesians 5:18-19). God anticipated the distrust and disbelief of those who would be under the rule of others by exhorting them to submit (in the case of wives and church congregants) or obey (as in the case of dependent minor children or servants/employees). By reflecting the character of Christ, both rulers and those under rule have the opportunity to bring the light of the glory of God to a world of darkness, where corrupt rulers abuse power and those under them suffer greatly.
IT’S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING . . .
When you or I want to know who’s in charge, is it because we want to know who’s in control (“control” being the operative word)? In a sinful world, we’ve forsaken godly leadership for efficient “management” to suit selfish purposes.
Control is not the goal in God’s authority structure. In Ephesians and other passages, leaders serve, not manage those in their care. Leaders are answerable to God for the way they influence others: their role is one of protection and care (think shepherd), not self-serving pride (see Ezekiel 34). They don’t get to tell other people what to do (except in the case of children or employees), and even then, they are called to set an example through service.
Likewise, in order for the wheels of structure to move smoothly, those under authority (think: “need protection and care”) can more easily submit or obey where there is a relationship of trust. Rebellion is borne out of a distaste for hypocrisy, abuse, and earned distrust. No one likes to be controlled; no one likes to be told what to do. Great leaders learn to respect those in their care--to listen, to acknowledge their thoughts and feelings, to ask forgiveness when they’ve done wrong, to act in their best interest. For each “command” the leader gives, the motivation must be love and protection, not control.
God, the perfect leader, experienced his people’s outright distrust and rebellion in the wilderness following his rescue, love, and protection of them in their exodus from Egypt. The Israelites missed an opportunity to enter the land of promise because of their disobedience. God wasn’t surprised; their sin of disobedience was on them. He, their Creator, had endowed them with human choice, and they chose unwisely. He didn’t MAKE them obey, but later they wished they had.
Plenty of stumbling blocks await those under authority, too. They have choices that can work in their favor or against it. The person under authority can undermine his/her own role by idolizing the “person at the top” or by struggling against whoever’s in charge through inward or outward rebellion. Because leaders are sinful people, too, relational tension is exacerbated when leaders abuse their position. Likewise, those under leadership can damage relationships by responding poorly to instruction.
DUAL ROLES
The centurion who approached Jesus in Luke 7 had this figured out. He explained that he was both under the authority of others, and exercised authority over other people. He knew his place--because he filled 2 roles: both leader and follower--so he saw truth from two different perspectives. He then acknowledged Jesus’ authority to heal his servant long-distance (see how Jesus used his authority to protect and serve the best interests of others?), and Jesus himself was always in cooperation with the will of his Father.
God, who does all things well, places us in various roles at various times for the good of his kingdom. Before we can exercise the role of either leader or follower well, we need to have a firm grip on what it means to “submit to one another in the fear of the Lord.” It helps a lot to be humble and teachable on this matter. Chances are, the people under you are as smart or smarter than you. Chances are, people will submit better than you will lead. It’s a huge responsibility to lead, because people are interpreting what God is like through the lens of YOU. “My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.” (James 3:1) As a person who submits (and we all answer to somebody!), we must be careful to use our own intelligence, energy, discernment, and voice for the benefit of our leader instead of placing that person in idol status, or passively following, or complaining/grumbling/gossiping.
A NOTE REGARDING CHILDREN
For all practical, relevant purposes, we can safely assume that when God calls children to obey, he is talking about dependent minors. It goes without saying that “normal” parents, though imperfect, desire to protect their children from harm, and bring them up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord”. Being humans, children still have free will to obey or disobey. While they are minors who are dependent upon their parents’ provision, it is reasonable to expect obedience, and have boundaries for disobedience.
All children, no matter what age, are called to honor their parents. Honoring means different things in different cultures, but dishonor is sin. The parent doesn’t get to decide whether he or she has been honored, though he or she may feel honored or dishonored. The adult child doesn’t get to decide (except by way of personal boundaries for physical, mental, or emotional safety) if he or she has “honored enough”. God gave us the Holy Spirit to convict us and interpret to us individually what our behavior should be in every case. As in every behavior, motivation is key. Is the motive love and respect? Is it lip service? Is it wanting the best for the other party? Rather than question whether we honor enough, perhaps instead we should ask ourselves and God why we do what we do.
STILL STRUGGLING?
The word “authority” can be a trigger for many, likely because it is so often misused and abused. Some “authority figures” in our lives are passive; some are abusive; some are corrupt; some are unrespectable; some are oppressive or narcissistic or angry or dictators. Some are our fathers, church leaders, government leaders, law enforcers, teachers, employers. If you’ve lived more than 30 seconds, you know the pain of a bad leader.
The words “submit” and “obey” can be triggers for many, because these words have been used to control, coerce, manipulate, abuse, deceive, dominate, oppress, and violate. We have at times “submitted” and “obeyed” to our own destruction; we’ve seen others violated as well. Worst of all, those who are in a place of “spiritual” leadership have shamed and guilted us into obeying “man” (themselves) instead of God. Trust has been broken in a big way. We were harmed by those who were supposed to protect and love us, and now we’re left with the trauma of betrayal.
God gives us the perfect outline for authority structures, but there are no perfect people to carry it out--on either end! Leaders want their followers to submit and obey; followers want respect and dignity. “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? You lust, and have not: you kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: you fight and war, yet ye have not, because you ask not.“ (James 4:1-2) In our flesh, we each battle with our own lusts, and are willing to kill for what we want.
Leaders have great responsibility, but except in the cases of parenthood and law enforcers, they do not have the power to make their followers submit (unless they use coercive control, which is sin.) And leaders cannot be leaders unless someone is following. So what’s the point? Why is leadership and submission even important?
Both roles of leadership and submission point us all to Christ, who shows us how to fulfill them well. If we use our leadership for anything other than loving, protecting, and serving, we’re not being Christ-like. If we can’t support authority in a godly way (except in cases of abuse), we’re not being Christ-like. Jesus gave himself as an example of a person under authority and with authority.
Who’s in charge? God. Period. Otherwise, it’s the wrong question.
Subscribe to free weekly articles in your inbox HERE; your information will never be shared. :-)
©2021 Julie Knapp; 8.14.21 www.MadeForGrace.net