Who's On Your Team?
The godly people in the land are my true heroes! I take pleasure in them! ~ Psalm 16:3
One of the first things I ask a suffering person is, "Who can you trust? Who can you depend on?" The answer reveals the overall emotional health of the individual, because a person with a strong network can survive practically anything. I strongly recommend a "team" of five people you may call on for support when you are walking through difficulty.
What's Love Got to Do With It?
God made us for connection. One of our most primary human needs is belonging. From earliest childhood, we long to connect with our primary caregivers, and our experience predicts whether we can form healthy relationships in the future. (If our attachment / bonding is deficient, we must intentionally learn this skill as adults.) In safe, healthy relationships, we grow in love, understanding, and empathy. We're there for each other in life's ups and downs, becoming the "hands and feet" of Jesus as we reflect His character in caring for each other (Galatians 6:2).
Name Your Heroes
Incidentally, the people who are likely most capable of emotional support are those who have survived significant suffering in their own lives (2 Cor. 1:3-4). I interact with "heroes" regularly: people who, despite their difficulty are seeking God and connection with others. We can't thrive in isolation, nor were we ever meant to. Humble people know that reaching out for help is courageous, not shameful; pride gets in the way of healthy connection.
Lessons From a Blue Zone
A few years ago, I learned about "blue zones": areas in the world that have the highest health and longevity ratings. One of these is Okinawa, where baby girls are matched with four others who will be their lifelong companions (read about moai here). As these girls grow to womanhood with their "team", sharing life experiences enriches them and produces emotional solidarity.
Build Your Team
I can't overemphasize the importance of a primary relationship with God, no matter who you are or where you are on your life journey. The best way to become "unstuck" and move forward is to regularly interact with God as your first team member. You will quickly recognize how He sees you and responds to your difficulties as you read the Psalms: even one per day is tremendously helpful in embracing reality and truth. Be bold in your prayers to Him -- He can handle all you dish out -- and then expect and look for His response in His Word, through a friend, in a thought, or in an unexpected way. He's always trying to connect with YOU!
Other team members should be intentionally chosen "safe" people. These may or may not include any of your family members. "Safe" people--those who build you up and give you freedom, those who share a mutual interest and reciprocate your friendship, and those who are respectful -- can be co-workers, fellow church attenders, adventure buddies, or divine appointments. Pray about who God will send into your life. Choose relationships that exclude the possibility of romantic interest; becoming a whole person first is tantamount to non-codependent relationships. (Click HERE for resource.)
Remember that relationships take time and intentional investment. The strongest bonds you'll have is with those whose values are aligned with yours. Feel free to explore values, beliefs, and opinions with others and see how much you learn about yourself in the process! This is a journey of self-discovery as much as it is an endeavor in learning to relate with others who accept you for who you are without judgment, criticism, condemnation, or manipulation.
Having five team members is a good goal. They may not all appear at once, but with this network in place, there will almost always be someone you can call, hang out with, or do the same for someone else.
Subscribe to free weekly articles in your inbox HERE; your information will never be shared. :-)
©s2022 Julianne Knapp. First Published 11.8.22
One of the first things I ask a suffering person is, "Who can you trust? Who can you depend on?" The answer reveals the overall emotional health of the individual, because a person with a strong network can survive practically anything. I strongly recommend a "team" of five people you may call on for support when you are walking through difficulty.
What's Love Got to Do With It?
God made us for connection. One of our most primary human needs is belonging. From earliest childhood, we long to connect with our primary caregivers, and our experience predicts whether we can form healthy relationships in the future. (If our attachment / bonding is deficient, we must intentionally learn this skill as adults.) In safe, healthy relationships, we grow in love, understanding, and empathy. We're there for each other in life's ups and downs, becoming the "hands and feet" of Jesus as we reflect His character in caring for each other (Galatians 6:2).
Name Your Heroes
Incidentally, the people who are likely most capable of emotional support are those who have survived significant suffering in their own lives (2 Cor. 1:3-4). I interact with "heroes" regularly: people who, despite their difficulty are seeking God and connection with others. We can't thrive in isolation, nor were we ever meant to. Humble people know that reaching out for help is courageous, not shameful; pride gets in the way of healthy connection.
Lessons From a Blue Zone
A few years ago, I learned about "blue zones": areas in the world that have the highest health and longevity ratings. One of these is Okinawa, where baby girls are matched with four others who will be their lifelong companions (read about moai here). As these girls grow to womanhood with their "team", sharing life experiences enriches them and produces emotional solidarity.
Build Your Team
I can't overemphasize the importance of a primary relationship with God, no matter who you are or where you are on your life journey. The best way to become "unstuck" and move forward is to regularly interact with God as your first team member. You will quickly recognize how He sees you and responds to your difficulties as you read the Psalms: even one per day is tremendously helpful in embracing reality and truth. Be bold in your prayers to Him -- He can handle all you dish out -- and then expect and look for His response in His Word, through a friend, in a thought, or in an unexpected way. He's always trying to connect with YOU!
Other team members should be intentionally chosen "safe" people. These may or may not include any of your family members. "Safe" people--those who build you up and give you freedom, those who share a mutual interest and reciprocate your friendship, and those who are respectful -- can be co-workers, fellow church attenders, adventure buddies, or divine appointments. Pray about who God will send into your life. Choose relationships that exclude the possibility of romantic interest; becoming a whole person first is tantamount to non-codependent relationships. (Click HERE for resource.)
Remember that relationships take time and intentional investment. The strongest bonds you'll have is with those whose values are aligned with yours. Feel free to explore values, beliefs, and opinions with others and see how much you learn about yourself in the process! This is a journey of self-discovery as much as it is an endeavor in learning to relate with others who accept you for who you are without judgment, criticism, condemnation, or manipulation.
Having five team members is a good goal. They may not all appear at once, but with this network in place, there will almost always be someone you can call, hang out with, or do the same for someone else.
Subscribe to free weekly articles in your inbox HERE; your information will never be shared. :-)
©s2022 Julianne Knapp. First Published 11.8.22